


The Bull and Whistle

by tuddles



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Rab C Nesbitt (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Bathroom Sex, Comfort, Cunnilingus, F/F, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), First Kiss, Flirting, Hurt Aziraphale (Good Omens), Kissing, Large Breasts, Neck Kissing, Nipple Licking, Orgasm, Semi-Public Sex, Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24019759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuddles/pseuds/tuddles
Summary: Miss Fell goes to a pub for a blind date but ends up meeting a lovely bar maid instead.
Relationships: Aziraphale (Good Omens)/Davina (Rab C Nesbitt)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [error_era](https://archiveofourown.org/users/error_era/gifts).



> Present for you!!! 
> 
> I saw your post on twitter about these two lovely ladies and it got my mind working.
> 
> You are always so sweet and motivating, I felt like making a little something just for you. 😊🌼
> 
> Just a little something really, nothing big. Here is Miss Fell's POV first, then i might do Davina's POV for the second chapter.
> 
> Anyway, hope you like this little tid bit.
> 
> ❤️

It was a regular Thursday night in Soho, London. The streets were packed bumper to bumper, beeping horns and flashing lights through the darkness of what was quickly turning out to be a rainy autumn evening. Businessmen and women moved like cattle, trudging their way along the pavement, rushing to the nearest Tube station before the rain soaked them through completely.

Far from the cold harsh winds which were now starting to pick up, the inside of the Bull and Whistle was the perfect retreat. With its charmingly historic deco and its roaring fireplace, the old Irish Pub was the perfect place to be on such a grey and miserable night. Relieved sighs were often heard from patrons as they entered in from the street, glad to be out of the cold and into such a warm and inviting atmosphere.

The novel cuckoo clock which hung over the mantel struck eight o'clock just as a small wide figure shuffled in through the main doors. What seemed to be a rather old but well-loved cream coat shook, ridding itself of raindrops as it was shrugged off round shoulders and promptly hung up on a spare hook on the wall. The owner of said coat sighed as a matching hat was added to the same hook along with a knitted tartan scarf. Safe from the harsh elements and the weight of her outerwear, the short woman made her way into the pub, blue eyes scanning the scene as she went.

Her name was Miss Fell, and she was just as charming and old fashioned as the establishment she was entering. From her neat little white-blonde curls to her powdered blue empire dress and gleaming pearl necklace, she looked like she had stepped right out of a Jane Austen novel. It was rather fitting as well that she was holding in her hands an aged copy of _Sense and Sensibility._ She hugged the cherished book to her busty chest as she shyly moved to an empty table. She quietly sucked her lower lip as she sat down and placed the book neatly onto the middle of the table, like it was meant to be seen. She then sighed and looked up, those baby blues washing over the area again, as if searching for something, hopeful and expectant.

It was not long after she had sat down that a stunning waitress came over to her, flashing the brightest smile that she had seen all day. She was tall, so very tall, but glided across the floor with such grace befitting an angel. Miss Fell always envied women like this, those skilled few who could wear such high heels and not end up planted flat on their face. Shy azure eyes kept envy within them as they lifted up along the tall, elegant frame. Such slender legs and narrow waist, all hidden conservatively under a long burgundy skirt and silky white blouse. To top it all off, the vision had the most shiny, healthy looking red hair she had ever seen in her life. Long streams of auburn curls framed a gorgeous face, cascading down and teasing fragile shoulders. For a moment, Miss Fell was so hypnotised that she tuned out for a moment or so. Blinking, she shook her head and refocused herself.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Miss Fell asked, sure that the redhead had said something.

“Aye dear” the spritely waitress said with a giggle in her voice, thick Scottish accent only adding to the exotic allure of her body. “Can I get ye a drink, love?”

“Oh, oh yes please, thank you… a, um, yes… a glass of Moscato if you have it, please” she blurted out, thinking that something sweet and alcoholic would hit the spot.

“Of course, sweet cheeks” the waitress beamed before gliding away towards the bar. 

Miss Fell could not help but stare at the redhead for a few more seconds before she cleared her throat with a small cough and looked back down to the book on the table, an uncomfortable weight suddenly sinking in her gut.

See, the nervous blonde was expecting to meet someone, a gentleman someone. It had been her mother’s idea, to set her up on a blind date with someone named Alan. He was an accountant apparently, well-educated and Catholic, all things which were highly approved by her mother. He was the son of one of her Mother’s book club friends, she also agreeing that they might make a good match. Miss Fell was apprehensive about it, not really looking forward to meeting some stranger who she probably had nothing in common with and would probably prefer his women tall and slender like the waitress. But she figured that if anything, this would get her mother of her back for at least a few months. So reluctantly she had agreed to the date and had said she would be here at this time, seated with a book in front of her. So as far as she was concerned, she was living up to her end of the deal. Now it was only a matter of time for this Alan to arrive.

“Here you are love” the kind voice washed over her again while a polished wine glass filled with delicious looking alcohol was placed on the table. “The bottle was at its end, so I gave ye a bit more than standard, no extra charge.”

“Oh! Oh thank you, that is kind” the blonde managed a genuine smile, grateful for the consideration.

“A pleasure, dear. It’ll be our little secret” she winked a gorgeous smoky eye her way and flashed a grin of ripe red lips. “Just flag me down if ye be needin’ anything else now, love” she added before turning with a flip of that wild hair and sauntering away.

The beautiful face of porcelain complexion glowed while she smiled, looking down to the wine with a fondness that warmed her heart. She took a sip and instantly started to feel a bit better. After the third sip, Miss Fell was leaning back, relaxing into the seat just so. She breathed in deep and let out a long-sighed breath. She secretly started hoping that this Alan would not show up at all, it was rather nice just being here and enjoying a quiet drink.

She wondered to herself what the rest of the night was going to be like.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night continues and the two ladies get a little more familiar with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a little bit of Davina's POV now. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> I probably should have put chapter 1 and 2 together because they are such small word counts, so I'm sorry about that. Guess I just got exited to post it. :) 
> 
> <3

Davina was being rushed off her feet, prancing around in her 4-inch heels while she waited on numerous tables as well as attending the bar when she could. She had only moved to the big smoke a week ago and was already beginning to miss the relaxed pace of her hometown. Homesickness aside, she did quite enjoy meeting all the different people who filtered in and out of the Bull and Whistle, they were so much more interesting, their lives miles more exciting than those from home.

Speaking of interesting, Davina was quickly becoming more interested in the beautiful woman at table nine. Every time she had a moment to herself, she found that she was glancing over in the blonde’s direction. Her bright eyes would swipe over the curvaceous figure, adoring the way that she daintily sipped her wine. At one point, Davina found herself biting the side of her ruby lips while the blonde’s perfectly pink mouth kissed the rim of wine glass. The redhead made a little noise and wiggled her noise, thinking that she had never been so jealous of glassware before in her entire life. With a sigh, she would force herself to look away and went back to being a dutiful waitress and bar maid.

It was nearing nine o’clock when Davina looked over and saw that the lovely blonde was hunched over the table with her cheek in her hand and a defeated look on her face. The wine glass was empty, as was the seat across from her. Davina frowned, not liking what she was seeing at all. She had been working in hospitality long enough to know what a blind date looked like, and judging by the clues, the pretty blonde had been stood up. Davina’s heart ached, angry at whoever was so dumb and cold-hearted to pass up the chance of meeting such a kind and sweet looking lady. She sometimes wondered what the world was coming to when a woman so beautiful was made to look so sad.

After dropping off a round of lagers to a table of football fanatics (and enjoying the round of wolf whistles they gave her), she made a point of circling around to the lonesome blonde. A light screech was heard as she pulled out the chair across from the blonde and gracefully sat herself down onto it.

“Right!” Davina stated as she flicked dark red ringlets behind her back, pursing her lips together in a less than pleased manner. “Whoever stood ye up is a complete n’ utter numpty!” she said, affirming her words with a definite nod and setting her hands down upon her primly crossed legs.

With a startled flutter of pale lashes, the blonde looked up. Blue eyes, once bright and filled with nervous hope were now dulled and filled with numb disappointment. Davina felt a pang in her heart, every instinct of hers wanting to wrap the blonde up in a warm hug (and to slap the dumbass who had done this to her).

“Heh, is it that obvious?” the pretty blonde asked with a humourless laugh. She sniffled a now reddened nose and blinked away a tear that threatened to spill down her cheek.

“Oh love, please don’t cry” Davina cooed softly, plucking an embroidered handkerchief from her blouse and leaning over, offering it at the end of a long, slender arm.

“Th-thank you” Miss Fell sniffed and accepted the handkerchief, dabbing it gently under her eyes and then against her nose. “I don’t know why I am blubbering really, I didn’t even want the date in the first place. Just… well I just thought that he would at least show up, you know?”

“I know, dear” the redhead offered a soft smile, leaning back in her chair and tilting her head, just watching the sorrowful blonde.

“Tell ye what. Come keep me company up at the bar, we’ll get ye another drink, somethin’ with lots of cherries in it” Davina tried a smile, hoping that it’s infectious nature might rub off. 

The blonde giggled softly at that and Davina’s smile widened.

“Only if it would not be a bother” Miss Fell said, not wanting to feel like a burden.

“Oh pish-posh!” Davina said, waving her hands in the air in a dismissive manner. “Ye would be doin’ me a favour, much to much testosterone flyin’ around here, could use some girly conversation” she grinned and offered her hand out to the blonde as she stood up.

With a sheepish smile, the short lady stood and accepted the offered hand, letting it guide her over to the bar.

Divina flashed the brightest smile as she led the beautiful blonde to the bar, showing her to one of the tall stools before she slipped behind the counter and went about throwing together a brightly coloured and rather strong cocktail which did indeed end up having multiple maraschino cherries on the top, as well as a little pink umbrella of course.

“Here love, try this one out, on the house of course” a cheeky wink flashed and ruby lips offering one of those signature smirks.

“Oh my, if – if you insist” Miss Fell smiled shyly, feeling rather spoiled.

“Of course. Ye enjoy that, I just have to attend to a couple of tables, but I will be back. Oh – I am Davina by the way” 

“Zira” Miss Fell smiled, offering her own first name in return. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Zira” Davina said while she leaned over the bar and reached out, gently taking Zira’s hand and lifting it up to her lips. Ruby folds puckered, plump and pouty as they pressed a kiss to the back of the small dainty hand. Bright eyes flickered up, sparkling as they caught the flushed look on chubby cheeks. Another wink was given as she set the hand down and then slid away, swaying off to do her job.

Miss Fell breathed deep and found herself feeling suddenly hot. She fanned herself with the pretty handkerchief and then took a large sip of the cocktail. 

The night was certainly beginning to improve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ssssooo…. yeah... i'm rather tempted now to do some smut in the next chapter. What do ya think? up for some Miss Fell / Davina sexy times? 
> 
> <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the night starts to wind down for the Bull and Whistle, things start to heat up for Davina and Miss Fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go my lovelies, some cheeky girly smut to end this sweet little treat.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> <3

Throughout the next couple of hours, Zira Fell sat at the bar, happily sipping on cocktails and reading through the book she had brought with her, enjoying the familiar words of the beloved novel. Every now and then she would set the book aside and would welcome the return of the flamboyant barmaid. They would chat and giggle and exchange knowing looks, both sighing when Davina had to get back to work. Zira would find herself bitting on her bottom lip and thinking unthinkable thoughts while she watched the redhead move. It was always sad to see her leave, but my god it was a delight to watch her walk away.

Time flew by and before they knew it, the clock was striking midnight and the pub was looking relatively empty. Most of the patrons had left, leaving only a few sad looking drunks eager to drink on until last call. One man in the corner wearing sunglasses was being extra vocal, drunkenly ranting on about ducks.

Davina was behind the bar, gracefully leaning over by her narrow waist while she polished the wooden counter with a cloth, buffing it until it shined with perfection. She was humming softly while she worked, so lost in the menial task that she did not notice the blue eyes staring at her.

The later the hour got, the more Miss Fell was finding that she could not take her eyes away from the gorgeous waitress. Absentmindedly, she licked her lips and stirred the straw in her drink, azure eyes burning a heated trail up and down the redhead’s lithe body. The longer she watched, the more certain she was that Davina was the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen in her whole life. It wasn’t just that she was physically attractive, but she was also kind-hearted, thoughtful and non-judgemental. The more Zira discovered about Davina, the more beautiful she became. It was getting to the point now where Zira found herself unable to look away.

“Ahh, there we go, spick n’ span!” Davina declared, throwing the cloth over her shoulder while she stood up and propped her hands upon her saucy hips. She flicked her eyes over to Zira and grinned when she saw those baby blues quickly looking away. The blonde’s pale cheeks blushed the prettiest shade of pink, highlighting the fact that she was embarrassed by being caught in the act of staring.

“See somethin’ ya like, love?” Davina teased while she slithered over.

“I, um. I don’t know what you mean” the bashful blonde replied, swallowing nervously and looking down into her half empty cocktail glass.

“Don't ya?” a slender eyebrow lifted in a questioning fashion while Davina leaned over and cheekily plucked a cherry from Zira’s drink. She smirked while she pressed the bright red fruit to her crimson lips before parting the velvet folds and letting it pop inside. She hummed approval as she bit into the alcohol-soaked cherry, enjoying the taste of the juice filling her mouth and trickling down her throat. 

Blushed cheeks burned ever hotter while blue eyes watched those ruby lips, how sweet and moist they looked as they worked their way around the succulent little fruit. The blonde swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“I… _hmph”_ the blonde took in a deep breath, trying to form any string of words which would make sense. “I, um. I think I may have had too many drinks” she admitted, trying to not show too much desire in her eyes as she looked up into those soulful brown irises. 

“I think I need to visit the ladies’ room” the blonde breathed out before she said anything too incriminating.

“Perfect!” Davina said, slipping the cloth from her shoulder and tossing it onto the counter. “I need to go myself, shall we?”

……….

After relieving themselves, the two women stood at the sinks, washing their hands and looking into the large mirror in front of them.

Miss Fell continued to wash her small hands far longer than necessary as she watched Davina apply some more of her ruby red lipstick to her lips. She rubbed her own lips together, imagining how that mouth would feel against hers.

“Yer starin’ again, love” Davina stated, grinning to Zira through the reflection in the mirror.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you’re just… well, you are _so_ pretty” she replied, feeling her cheeks getting hotter by the second. She shyly looked down as she turned the tap off and dried her hands on a paper towel.

“Ya know, yer pretty too” the tall goddess said while she brushed a stray red ringlet behind her ear.

“Oh, _no”_ the blushing woman said, shaking her head of short blonde curls. “Not pretty like you, I couldn’t even compare to – “

With a flash of deep red, the lithe barmaid turned and slinked an arm around the blonde’s generous waist, grabbing a firm yet gentle hold and spinning her so they were facing each other. Davina towered over Zira, so much so that she had to slip a finger under the blonde’s chin and guide it upwards so that they could make direct eye contact.

They were so close now that Miss Fell could feel her breasts touching Davina’s abdomen, their clothes the only thing between them. The nervous blonde swallowed and felt frozen as the redhead grinned and proceeded to apply her crimson lipstick onto Zira’s pouty lips. Zira blinked, blushing as she felt the smooth wetness spreading over her skin.

Davina plucked up a tissue and held it in front of Zira’s mouth. “Blot” she instructed, and Zira continued to hold eye contact as she opened her mouth and pressed her lips around the tissue, making a _pop_ sound as she blotted them. The redhead smiled and nodded, tossing the soiled tissue away. She let out a soft, happy sigh as she thumbed gently over Zira’s softly rounded chin “Stunning.”

“Look for yerself” Davina purred while she guided Zira to face the mirror, positioning herself so that she was behind the short blonde. She gently laid her hands upon Zira’s plump hips, squeezing softly.

The bashful blonde felt her chest rising and falling, breath quickening as she keenly felt the hands upon her. She fluttered her lashes and looked at herself in the mirror, inspecting her own face. She smiled softly, admiring the way that the shade of the lipstick enhanced her features. Bright eyes looked even bluer, clearer. Creamy skin looked paler, like virgin snow against the ripe bloom of a rose.

“See” Davina whispered as she leaned over, brushing her own ruby lips against the side of Zira’s neck “ye look _divine”_ she breathed warmly over the ivory flesh, sending a shiver down Zira’s spine. “Good enough to eat” she added before she parted her lips and placed an opened-mouth kiss just under her ear.

 _“Oh”_ Miss Fell gasped and then sighed as she melted against the touch. Her eyelids suddenly felt heavy, blue irises peering through slits as she watched Davina kiss along her throat, licking and nipping as she went.

“Is this okay?” Davina’s voice flowed like honey over her throat as she looked up, searching Zira’s face in the mirror.

“Mmhmm” the nervous blonde nodded, knees going weak as she watched Davina grin. The redhead opened her mouth and pressed the tip of her tongue to the back of her front teeth, seductively showing the wet underside before she dove back down, planting another hungry kiss on the milky flesh.

“You have _such_ delicious skin, my dear” Davina commented while she lifted her hands up and started to slide the sleeves of Zira’s powdered blue dress down, along with the straps of her lacy white bra. The blonde took a sharp breath in, eyes fixed on watching as Davina’s skilled touch continued to pull down, not stopping until the heavy weight of large breasts were freed.

“Davina!” Miss Fell breathed out and whined, although did not make any move to stop what was happening. Her voice hitched and she closed her eyes as she felt those slender hands reach around to cup her fruitful breasts, squeezing them and teasing the blushed nipples with her long fingers.

 _“Mmmm…._ I want to eat ya all up” the redhead whispered right into the blonde’s ear, earning her an aroused moan in response. She grinned and took that as a signal to keep going.

Releasing the glorious tits from her grasp, Davina took a possessive hold on Zira’s waist and spun her around. With a sleek, smooth movement, she pushed the curvaceous beauty against the basin and swooped down, smashing their lips together and claiming an instantly filthy kiss.

The sweet harmony of two lovely ladies moaning filled the air, echoing against the cold bathroom tiles while they kissed and fondled each other where they could. The bashful Zira started to let her walls down, melting further with each kiss and each touch. Her mind was whirling and eventually she just gave in. She surrendered to her basic, primal need and parted her thick thighs, grinding herself down on Davina’s knee, whimpering as the hard joint rubbed her aching pussy through her clothes.

They kissed long and hard. Matching red lips parted, slippery tongues darting from mouth to mouth, dancing and playing together in a truly sensuous way. They both purred into the kisses, breathing hot and heavy through noses while they writhed against each other, eager for the contact. Eventually, Davina pulled away and instantly started to kiss down Zira’s throat, administering little licks and nips as she made her way down to those magnificent breasts.

“Oh… _oh, Davina!”_ the squirming blonde gasped as she felt that delicious mouth close around one of her nipples. She yelped and bit down on the knuckle of her own index finger, stopping herself from moaning louder.

Davina purred like a wild cat as she suckled on the pert nipple, licking and bitting it until the bud was rock hard, red raw and extra sensitive. Only once she was satisfied with the result, she grinned and kissed her way over to the other, giving it the same ruthless treatment. By the time she was done, Zira was babbling nonsense, bucking her wide hips as she dreamed about having that mouth on her cunt.

“Please… _please,_ more” Zira begged and Davina giggled, knowing exactly what the pretty blonde needed.

Wasting no time at all, Davina grabbed Zira and pulled her up to sit on the basin. The chubby blonde whimpered in protest but soon forgot all about the worry of her own weight once the redhead was kneeling to lift her dress up and pull her panties down.

Wide blue eyes watched in awe as the gorgeous creature settled between her thick thighs. Her large tits heaved as she breathed in deep, so aroused by the sight and so ready for what was coming next. She whimpered as she watched Davina tie that wild red hair back, clearing her gorgeous face before she dived down and hungrily started to feast on the pretty pink pussy.

Zira threw her head back and cried out, moaning in pleasure as that perfect mouth messily started to kiss and lap at her cunt. That tongue, oh that sleek and slender tongue licked and flicked in all the right ways, teasing over the gushing entrance and rolling around the sensitive bud of her clitoris. Zira bit her lip to stop herself from swearing, unable to believe that someone could be so good at this.

Before she knew it, Zira had her chubby little fingers in that long red hair, grabbing tight and pushing that stunning face between her legs. She grunted and bucked as she all but rutted herself against that pretty mouth. A wildness she never knew she possessed took over her, not letting go until she was tensing and cumming all over the barmaid’s beautifully angular face.

“Fuck!” she actually did swear once she had ridden out her orgasm. She whined and squirmed as Davina stole a few more cheeky licks before she withdrew and stood up to her full intimidating height.

Her face glistened with wetness and her smile was bright and genuine, earthy browns gazing adoringly down into baby blues.

 _“Mmmm,_ scrumptious” she remarked and Zira blushed brightly.

Tenderly they kissed, the exhausted blonde purring as she tasted herself on Davina’s lips.

“Come home with me” Davina growled against Zira’s mouth.

 _“Mmm…_ only if you promise to do _that_ again” the blonde replied and they both giggled.

“Of course, angel” she smiled, giving one last kiss before helping Zira down from the basin. 

After fixing themselves up, they walked out of the bathroom hand in hand.

To say the least, the failed blind date was the very last thing on Miss Fell’s mind and was sure to remain that way for the rest of the night.


End file.
